Feed Your Picky Eater

Trying to feed a child that is not willing to eat seems like a battle you just can't win. It is a situation that feels like the child is in complete control, and on the surface, they are, but perhaps not in the way you think they are.

Children are no different than adults when it comes to food, we all have genuine likes and dislikes. This is not something a parent can, or should, control. On the other hand, as a parent, it is important to guide the food choices our children make and keep them healthy.

When meal time becomes a war zone, most parents struggling with young ones feel like when the child doesn't eat the food placed in front of them, the they "win." Other reasons parents are bothered by their picky eaters are:

• Child looses weight and may become malnourished
• The parent doesn't like to have their food rejected
• The parent doesn't like the defiance; you say "eat", they say "no"
• Child may waste the food or knock it to the ground if the parent is persistent in feeding it to them

I'm going to share with you what has worked with my picky eater and maybe it can help you too. It is advice I got from my daughter's pediatrician.

Initially, I was reluctant to follow the doctor's instructions because at 2 years old, my little girl had made her way into the 5th percentile for her weight; meaning 95% of the kids her age weighed more than she did. I really didn't think she had any weight to spare for this "experiment," but I followed doctors orders and came out ahead.

At my daughter's 24-month check up, I had to explain to the doctor that my little girl refused to eat anything but oatmeal, in the morning, and Chef Boyardee's Mini Ravioli the rest of the day. The pediatrician found a kind and professional way to let me know this was unacceptable and then shared the following advice:

1. Add calories to the foods your child likes to eat.
   • For my daughter, this meant adding a little butter to her food; ravioli, pasta, a slice of bread, anything that I could.
   • This also meant "loading" her oatmeal with extras; using half & half to make it instead of milk, beating an egg or two into it, sometimes adding a banana to the mix, and yes, a touch of butter.
2. Instead of milk, give your child Pediasure with their meals. My little girl didn't like milk, or anything like it, so that was a bust for me.
3. Stand your ground with new foods.

"I have never known a child to willingly starve themselves to death" is what the pediatrician said when she encouraged me to stand my ground with new foods.

• At dinner time, serve up what you've already cooked for the entire family. If your picky eater won't eat it, do not quarrel with them. Say "okay" and excuse them from the table, or keep them there depending on your customs.
• This is where patience and psychology come in. While your child has been excused from their meal, they get NOTHING in the mean time. No drinks, no snacks, nothing. The child will fuss and whine, but in a pleasant voice remind them that there is plenty of food for them on their plate. Your child may protest, cry out of frustration, but eventually they will make their own way to the table and sample what is in their plate.
• Remember that while the child may feel like they are in control, especially when you let them know they don't have to eat the food, the real person in control is you, and it is important that you remain consistent and not waver on this.
• Give your child a vitamin supplement (I added this one).

The best vitamin supplements are those derived from whole food sources and in liquid form, but if there is a brand your prefer, by all means use it. I absolutely love Animal Parade's liquid multivitamin, and it mixes well in juice.

My Experience With This Advice

Adding butter to my daughter's food was the easy part.

At dinner time, when she discovered that she would be eating the same thing the family was having, she didn't want it. I shrugged my shoulders and said "okay." She was pleasantly surprised. I excused her from the table and she went to play with her toys. A little while later, she asked me for something to drink. My answer was, "You can have a drink with your dinner." She cried. She asked me for snacks, my answer was, "I would love to give you a snack after you eat your dinner." She cried even more. She whined about how hungry she was and I pointed to her plate of food. The look on her face said, "How dare you point to that wretched plate!" An hour later she came to the table, on her own, and started nibbling from her plate. I asked her if she wanted me to heat up the food and she said yes. She didn't eat much of it, just enough to earn her drink, and I suspected that she was still hungry when she went to bed that night, but we made progress and most important, I did not cave.

The next morning she was famished. I had a bowl of "loaded" oatmeal waiting for her and she gobbled it up. Lunch was whatever she didn't eat the night before...food does not go to waste in my house. It was a slow process and she did go to bed a little hungry on some occasions, but I stuck to my guns.

Over time, the picky behavior diminished and her favorite meals grew to include chicken, fish, steak, rice, potatoes etc. Now she eats most of what we do, with the exception of foods she genuinely doesn't like. Sometimes, I find that if a good dessert is waiting for her, she'll even eat the "undesirables" to get what she really wants, ice cream.

I hope my personal walk down this path, and the information I pulled from it, was helpful. Remember that if you are consistent and stand your ground, any "hunger strike" your child attempts will be short lived. In either case it is always good to consult your pediatrician for more ideas on how to get a picky eater to eat.

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